A JangLabs^® Production

Sorry, but I can't seem to get the spacing right on some of these lines!  Hope the content makes up for the slip in style. 

Top Ten Things That Sound Cool With a Boston Accent 
- Dave Letterman's Top Ten List for August 24, 1998 as presented by Members of the Boston Fire Department 

10. My trousers are full of chowder. (Ladder 17, Lieutenant Mike Walsh)

9. We're only here for the beer. (Ladder 16, Thomas Blake)

8. I'm going to Worcester to buy a toaster, you bastard! (Engine 53, Kevin Hoer)

7. Last night I went to Cheers and the bartender didn't know my name, so I broke his jaw.(Ladder 29, Eddie Monroe) 

6. Letterman parked his car in Harvard Yard after doing 120 MPH on the Mass Pike. (Ladder 4, Kevin McCarthy) 

5. I had an affair with that old guy from Pepperidge Farm. (Engine 48, Troy Osgood) 
4. The Bar is wicked bizarre. (Engine 10, Barbara Marrotta) 
3. Clark the aardvark went to the park after dark and drank Cutty Sark. (Ladder 24, Sean Ingram)
2. Clark the aardvark went to the park after dark and drank Cutty Sark with Marky Mark. (Engine 33, Pat Ellis) 
1. Don't believe Madonna -- I'm the baby's father.(Rescue 2, Richard Bessef) 

Top 10 Things That Sound Dirty In Law But Aren't

10. Have you looked through her briefs?

9. He is one hard Judge!

8. Counsellor, let's do it in chambers.

7. His attorney withdrew at the last minute.

6. Is it a penal offense?

5. Better leave the handcuffs on.

4. For $200 an hour, she better be good.

3. Can you get him to drop his suit?

2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.

And the number one thing that sounds dirty in law but isn't:

1. Think you can get me off?

Top 10 Things That Sound Dirty At The Office But Aren't

10. I need to whip it out by 5.

9. Mind if I use your laptop?

8. Just stick it in my box.

7. If I have to lick one more, I'll gag!

6. I want it on my desk, NOW!!!!

5. Hmmmmmmmm...I think it's out of fluid!!

4. My equipment is so old, it takes forever to finish.

3. It's an entry-level position.

2. When do you think you'll be getting off today?

And the number one thing that sounds dirty at the office but isn't :

1. It's not fair....I do all the work while he just sits there!!!

Top 10 Things That Sounds Dirty In Golf But Aren't

10. Nuts...my shaft is bent.

9. After 18 holes I can barely walk.

8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.

7. Look at the size of his putter.

6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.

5. Mind if I join your threesome?

4. Stand with your back turned and drop it.

3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.

2. Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired.

And the number one thing that sounds dirty in golf but isn't

1. Hold up....I need to wash my balls first.

Top Ten Punchlines to Dirty Baseball Jokes

-
10. "When he pops one up, he really pops one up" (Pitcher Doug Creek)
9. "And she said, 'how do you get it to curve like that?'" (Shortstop Rich Aurilia)
8. "Holy Cow, I can't believe it. Another trip to the mound" (Pitcher Rod Beck)
7. "That's the biggest strike zone I've ever seen" (Pitcher Rich Delucia)
6. "So his wife says, 'It's not a Ball Park Frank, but it plumps when I cook it'" (Second Baseman Steve Scarsone)
5. "The last time I caught fungoes, I was in Mexico" (Pitcher Steve Bourgeois)
4. "Just pretend you're Bill Buckner, let it go between your legs" (Rightfielder Dave McCarty)
3. "All I know is, it had pinstripes" (Centerfielder Marvin Benard)
2. "Whoops, I thought you said Orel Hershiser" (Leftfielder Mel Hall)
1. "It's not a Louisville Slugger, but keep choking up" (former SF Giant J.R. Phillips

Top Ten Punchlines To Dirty Football Jokes 

- 10. "No--I said, 'Look at the size of Mike Ditka'." 
9. "Next time, moisten the needle before inflating." 
8 "Is this enough for a first down?" 
7. "She thought it was Jimmy Johnson's hair." 
6. "I don't gamble, but that's one hell of a spread." 
5. "For god's sake, don't spike it!" 
4. "Dick Butkus." 
3. "Amazing how he went from a quarterback to a halfback to a fullback." 
2. "And then the Oiler nailed the Cowboy from behind." 
1 "He was caught Keyshawning his Johnson." 

My Top 20 Movies in no particular order

Nobody's Fool
American Beauty
Star Wars Episode I : Phantom Menace
Blade Runner
Jackie Brown
Casino
Fargo
Bram Stoker's Dracula
License To Kill
Terminator 2 : Judgment Day
Trainspotting
Once Upon A Time In America
Dave
Bug's Life
Barcelona
The Outsiders
St. Elmo's Fire
French Kiss
The Englishman who went up a hill but came down a mountain
Groundhog Day